Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Body Chronic Has Been Naughty

For those of you who I haven't alienated by my lack of posting lately, thank you for sticking around.

For those of you who have strayed due to my lack of posting, I know how you feel.

Life in TBC has been hectic at best. There's been some family drama, mixed with new homeownership and a busy work schedule. At best it's gotten me thinking about stress and TBC, but at worst it has had me neglecting this blog which I truly believe has the potential to do big things. That is, if I allow it.

But I have learned about TBC and I'm able to report some of those findings to you.

Things you learn about TBC while under stress:

  1. You revert to old things. For me it has been a heavy-coffee habit. I used to drink coffee a lot. But randomly over the past few years that desire has diminished and, although I enjoy it, I don't horde it like I used to. Over the past few weeks I have found myself at the office coffeepot more times than I'd like to admit (and somehow every other time I have to be the one to brew a new pot--it's a conspiracy!). But also over the past few months, in my stress, I've also reverted to my writing. I've always wanted to be a writer above all else. It had seemed as if I have given that dream away to the highest bidder. But it turns out I have some juice left in me. I started a new blog dedicated to my life and writing--A Perfectly Cursed Life--and I've found, or rediscovered, a passion. I guess it's more than a passion--it's a survival mechanism.
  2. You can handle more than you think. I thought moving would be hard. I was right. I thought work was getting hectic. I was right. I thought family drama was imminent. I was right. But even though all these things happened at once, I learned that I can take on more in practice than I can in theory. See, if I had a choice about all of those things, I may have chosen not to do them. "It's just too much," I'd probably say. But because I was forced into them, I've come to realize that I am much more capable of enduring multiple cluster-bleeps in my life than I once thought. Which leads me to my next thought...
  3. You do what you have to in order to get by. This one seems fairly simple, if not a given. But it's too true to ignore. I don't like the fact that my current anti-depressant isn't working after 13 years of solid performance. But, I make an appointment to work on that and move on. I don't like the fact that the physical act of moving--even with movers--put me in a lot of pain. But I took the necessary rest and meds to get by. We can adapt, even with chronic illness. Hell, we're probably better at it than most!
  4. You get cranky. I have been a ball of moodiness lately. Of course, some of it was very warranted. But some of it was just a matter of being in pain and being stressed out at the same time. It's hard to live life with a smile on your face when your insides feel like they might explode. It's not an excuse to lash out, but damn it, it's the truth!
  5. You need help. The Mister has been an amazing help throughout all of this. He pretty much planned and executed our move without much if any help from me. He has made sure that the cats are getting fed and the dog is getting treats (though his walks have been scant since the move). Even Mom and Dad have pitched in, helping me paint and clean before we moved. Would I have survived without this? Maybe. But it's nice to be able to ask for and receive help...because you need it. (P.S. Painting a room makes you hurt in places you didn't know existed.)
So look out world and web, TBC is back in business. Life goes on, as does chronic illness--whether we like it or not. We might as well get the best out of it together.