Thursday, June 5, 2008

Progress and Moving Forward

Sometimes keeping up with my body's never-ending problems is exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if the times with pain aren't easier than the times trying to figure out what to do about it. At least then I have a focus--rid myself of the pain.

Over the past few weeks I've been trying to gather the motivation to start taking care of myself better. Even if it's step-by-step, it's something. It is extremely hard for me to do this because the last time I was able to achieve any sort of health I dove into it head first and didn't look back. But now I just don't have the energy.

So if I don't have the energy to do something to make me feel better, then where am I going to go from here?

I've been doing very small things. Step one was that I needed to take my medecine regularly (including the Byetta) for one week. I did well for that one week but almost immediately screwed it up the following week. So now I'm back to step one--but with a bit of an addition. I've added back my vitamins (B complex and B 12) and supplements (chromium) back into the mix as well. So maybe that is progress.

I just can't help but wonder what The Body Chronic is in need of. Do I really need to dive in head first again? Can I muster the strength? Or am I on the right path to long-term change by doing this slowly? Do I need to bribe myself with prizes? Or is the prize in the achievement in and of itself?

I wish there were some empirical evidence to guide me. But I must forge my own path.

I just can't wait until that path is more habit than anything.